What is a young professional?

Over these past few years I have heard people talk about young professionals (YP) but never considered myself to be one. A few weeks ago I was at a meeting and the term was brought up again. It made me wonder, “What exactly is a young professional?” My definition of an YP is a young adult who has a professional job. According to that definition I am not one. I have become a professional volunteer! Others consider any young adult who is on a professional track to be considered an YP. So, graduate students and folks with white collar jobs would be considered as YP alongside young adults working in professional fields such as medicine (Doctors) and engineering (Mechanical Engineer). However, all young adults are not considered to be young professionals. What is the deciding factor then?

Anywho, I need to get on becoming this young professional (whatever that means) before I get to old to be considered one. I have a plan that is coming along slow but steady. Circumstances and opportunities are leading me to go into a direction that wasn’t my original plan. They were my safety but now it is making more sense to go that route. But you know me I don’t always go the easiest route. Stay tuned to see how it turns out.

Quarter Life Crisis

It just hit me over the past few weeks that I will be turning 25 this upcoming year. Now it is nothing to be sad about but the way it snuck up me has been a little overwhelming. There is so much to look forward to such as not having to pay extra when renting a car (I haven’t rented a car in over a year), being old enough to attend exclusive grown and sexy events (Lol, not likely at all) and my car insurance will drop once again (I hope it is lowered more than 5 dollars)!

I think a lot of it has to do with the obstacles (not really obstacles) I am facing during my final year as an AmeriCorps member. I am struggling with my finances more than in the past. One would assume that it would be easier being closer to my hometown and not having to drive to work. But for some reason it hasn’t been. I am confident that l will find a way to make ends meet once again. My life has been filled with many blessings so I have faith that it will all work out.

The experiences I am having at this site far outweigh any financial worries I have. It will all work out and be worth it in the end. You sacrifice a little to gain a lot. A sacrifice of no cable or internet and a little possible debt is nothing compared to the opportunities that could come from my experiences as a VISTA.

Forgettable

Have people ever made you feel invisible? There were a few times in college that I felt invisible or unmemorable. I attended a majority institution which means there were not a lot of people who looked like me. Even if I didn’t know certain people personally, I did recognize them. I mean there are people I have recognized that I never talked to on television or Facebook and they were of a different race. There are two particular instances where other black females introduced themselves to me after we had already interacted with each other. One girl and I had just conversed the previous day in the same location. Her reintroduction confused me to the point that I froze for a second before responding to her. The second girl and I were in a group of about seven people who watch The WIZ at screen on the green freshman year. We played taboo and took a few pictures that were later posted online. So when she reintroduced herself to me a couple of years later I just came out and told her we already knew each other. : /

On the flip side, there have been times that I wanted to be invisible such as trips to Wal-Mart in my hometown. I despise seeing people I haven’t talked to in years at the store. I have gotten use to going to stores and not recognizing anyone. So returning to my hometown store and knowing the cashier bothers me at times.

Oh well, I guess I cannot be picky about who recognizes me or not. I know once you get to know me I am unforgettable. ; )

No wedding bells ringing over here

A few weeks ago I received my first wedding invitation. I had become worried weeks before that I wasn’t invited because I hadn’t received an invite. For some reason I expected the invitation to come 4-6 months before the wedding. Anyway, this will be the first wedding I have attended as an adult. The first and only weding I attended was my first cousins wedding over ten years ago. Correction: I have attended another wedding. It took place in August outside in south Arkansas. The cake was sweating!

Over the past year or so I have been a little bummed about not being a wedding guest. Every time I log onto facebook someone is getting hitched, in a wedding, or traveling to one and I haven’t been a part of it. When I thought about it, my attendance would not have made sense because I was not close to any of the people tying the knot but I still felt left out. Why aren’t any of my friends getting hitched?? I know we are all pretty young (some more than others) but when I compare us to folks I graduated with from high school, we are behind. Out of 14 students who graduated summa cum laude from my high school in 2005, only four of us are not married or engage (I am making an assumption about one guy). I pointed that fact out to my pastor the other day during a discussion about marriage. It started off with him asking me out of the blue when I am getting married. (Now I have been asked this question frequently lately and it catches me off guard every time.) After I looked at him crazily, I threw back at him “don’t you need someone to marry first?” That was followed by him stating that he does not really picture me getting married and I agreed. Marriage is not something I am against. I would love to find that special someone for me but I just don’t see it happening. Having a significant other to show off to others is not a driving force in my life. Plus, I am not easily impressed. Let me rephrase, what impresses most folks does not impress me. I am real low maintenance. You know some people are always on the search for a partner and then there are those who have no problem finding someone. Well I am neither one of those people. My pastor said something to the effect that most black men are intimidated by intelligent women. I’m not sure if I agree or not. It always makes me a little uncomfortable when someone refers to me as intelligent but that’s for another post. That statement also makes me uncomfortable because it can leave someone to assume that women who are married are not as intelligent and I know that is not true. But what is it? I remember reading that young black people who are going the professional route have a mindset of getting everything together before getting married whereas their counterparts, be it white young professionals or other young black people, get married sooner and build their lives together.

Nevertheless, I am excited about attending this wedding. But after thinking about my feelings of being left out of the wedding brigade, I am not ready for my friends to tie the knot because I can’t afford it! I still owe a baby shower gift for baby JAS who is close to a month old and a house warming gift to the sweet LW. I haven’t forgot about ya’ll!

Hello again, I am unkindred hart and I suffer from social anxiety. This is a self diagnosis and it isn’t something I particularly want to change. It is just a quirk that I am aware of about myself and wish others would respect.

Being around a group of people who are not my friends or immediate family in a social setting makes me very anxious. Large parties, church, and family reunions are a few examples of places I am not comfortable. When church is over I head for the nearest exit because the socializing after service seems awkward and forced to me.

A couple of weeks ago a fellow church member asked me if I would help gather names of college students after service. When I told him probably not he was taken aback and must have assumed I was worried about it taking up my time because he replied that it wouldn’t take that much time. However, I was not worried about how long it would take, I am uncomfortable socializing and soliciting people I am not close to. I felt bad that I did not help gather the names because I love to help out where needed but I know what my strengths and weakness. Giving off an opening and welcoming vibe to the students is not my cup of tea.

Some people say “Why not work on your weakness?” I would rather focus on my strengths and allow those who are strong in that area to shine. For example, if the college ministry at my church wanted to have an event for the students I would do great at planning the event whereas it would fit into the strengths of others to invite the students to attend.

I think I read in the book Strength Finder 2.0 that people should stop focusing so much on improving their weakness and start to build upon their strengths. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t work on things we aren’t good at (I am going to keep cooking) but it shouldn’t be our main focus. Learn yourself and build your strengths.

Sexy Back

I bet the first thought in your head was Justin Timberlake’s song “I’m bringing sexy back”. Well that’s not exactly what I have in mind. Most women want a flatter stomach (eh! Not necessary), bigger boobs (umm, if they got any bigger I may cry), or a larger butt (now I would not mind a little thickness back there) however, I, unkindred hart long for a sexy back. We all have body parts that we are insecure about and mine is my back.

A few years ago I told a friend which body part I would like to change and she said something like “I have never heard anyone say that before!” I want to be able to get dressed without turning around and wishing I did not have all this back meat. My dream wedding dress has a cutout in the back of the lace gown. Even if I never get to wear that dress I would love to wear some type of dress that highlights a toned, sleek, sexy back that has no hint of back fat.

One semester in college I took a free weights class for one of my Physical Education credits. During one of the first class meetings I asked the coach what exercises I could do to get a sexy back. I think he was taken aback for a second but then he informed me that you cannot target train to get rid of fat. Bummer! His information tripped me out because I know it takes no time for my legs to get toned. The thought of me walking around with muscles popping out of my thigh like a professional body builder on stage was one thing that kept me from doing squats in that class. Been there, done that. When your ballet teacher stops you in the middle of class and asks you in a startled voice “what is wrong with your leg?” (I thought I had gotten a cut from the bar and was bleeding on my white tights.) And you look down to see your huge muscle bulging from your thigh; umm you are kind of scarred for life!

Anyway, why do I bring this up? I have been complaining about feeling like crap for the past few months due to inactivity. About three weeks ago I went to put on some jeans and I could not breathe. It was HORRIBLE! None of my pants were fitting comfortably so I decided to walk. I have been walking on and off for about three weeks now completing 2 miles each session. My pants are not cutting off my breath anymore and I have stopped grunting when I bend down or get up from sitting. Yea, it had gotten that bad! There have been a couple of times that I have actually jogged a little. In the past week I have moved away from my hometown and out on my own again. I have developed a route that is approximately 2 miles. Hopefully I will keep this up and get that sexy back I lone for along with a better bill of health.

2) Unity Ball Altercation

Every year the university has Unity Month "a campus-wide celebration of the religious, ethnic, racial, and international diversity found at Emory." The final event is Unity Ball. Senior year was my first time attending and it was HILARIOUS! As we walked into the ball we spoke waved at the people at the ticket table. I was not in a good mood when we first arrived, so I just sat down and looked at people. After I ate a few of those free shrimp and other appetizers I was ready to dance. I went out of the dance floor and started dancing with TH and CD(L). We were having a good time when folks decided to start strolling. TH suggested that we move out the way, I told her naw, we were here first and the floor is for dancing, they can stroll around us. Well apparently one member of a different sorority from my previous post felt differently and decided to nudge me in the back and say "Get out of my way". My initial reaction was to turn around and push that "illustrious" lady and boy did that turn into a serious matter. One of her sisters jumped in my face and told me that "you do not break line." I just stared at her. Thankfully one of my classmates and a member of their chapter told her to let it go. She backed off but I could feel the cold stares at the back of my head the rest of the evening. Once it was time to go, we ended up right behind the group and let them go down the elevator first because we didn't want any problems. Now there are two levels to the parking deck below the building and wouldn't you know we were parked on the same level. As we walk into the parking deck I hear some folks talking and I knew they were talking about me. I heard the same girl that jumped in my face (not the one who nudged me) say "there she is" and before I knew it I turned around and said "Do you have a problem with me?". She said "As a matter of fact I do" as she stormed my way with her girls in tow. Now we were out numbered 4 verses at least 7 and the three girls I came with were already at the car with the doors open oblivious to what just happened. Once they did realize what was going on they were right there. One pretty young lady informed me that I was lucky that I wasn't at the AUC because I would have been dealt with there. There were some other words said by a couple of them (there were some of them who were not up for a confrontation) and I just let them talk. Before I knew it all 100 pounds of CD(L) was in their face saying "Get the F*** out of my friend's face, I don't like the way you are talking to her" and waving her arms or something. I think she accidentally pushed one and I thought it was about to be on but thankfully it ended as fast it started. We headed back to the dorm unknowing they were headed to the same location. Thankfully their drivers decided to keep going straight after one of their divas threw a cup of alcohol out the window onto our car. The next morning CD(L) and I received unapologetic emails from the chapter saying that they normally do not act in that manner and that I was wrong for breaking line. Lucky for them I was behind on writing a paper and didn't think it was worth putting in effort in reporting their actions. My first and last unity ball was one to remember for sure.

*****UPDATE*****
Here is the apology letter we received.

From: ------ -. ------- Monday, November 24, 2008 12:40:27 AM
Subject: Our apologies
To: Unkindred Hart CD(L)

Hello,

On Behaf of the -- ----- Chapter of ----- ----- ----- Sorority, Inc. I would like to apologize to you for our actions this past Saturday at Unity Ball. Those actions were totally out of character and in no way representing of the Ladies we are. There are no excuses for such behavior and I will not make any, however I would like to say Greeks find it disrespectful in the highest form when people break their stroll lines. Even so, it was not right for us to come at you in the manner we did because I'm sure you meant no disrespect and probably didnt know you were offending anyone. Action of this demeanor will not be repeated by members of our Sorority chapter. Once again, we apologize and hope you accept this apology in its most sincere form.

Thank you.


------- ---- -------
Economics Major
------ Class of 2011
----- ----- ----- Sorority, Inc.
Inter-Sorority Council Public Relations/Publications Chair
-----University Center Associate
College Council Asst. Secretary

1) MEXICO

In the fall of 2007 I studied abroad in Cuernavaca, Morelos, Mexico. It was the best learning experience of my undergraduate career. I took my favorite course, Liberation Theologies, while living in Cuernavaca and got the opportunity to travel to El Salvador. While I didn't learn a lot of Spanish, I did learn a lot about American students. Living in a house with 12 strangers from across the United States of America was more of a culture shock than living in a foreign country. My host mom, Angela, was wonderful and made me the best torta until I found a two feet long piece of hair in one. :) Living in her two room house with an bathroom outside with no running water didn't feel awkward at all. I loved bucket bathing and chilling on in the hammock on Saturday mornings. My first time riding the bus back to town alone didn't go so well. I ended up not getting off on the right stop and getting on an interstate. I was ready to freak out but thankfully through the grace of God I was able to stay calm, call my mom and have her inform my school that I would be late for the trip that day, and switch buses with limited Spanish. I don't remember ever being homesick. My mom was able to take her first trip internationally to visit me and we got traveled to Acapulco. I find myself making reference to the experience often. I do wish more people would take advantage of opportunities to visit new places and experience different things.