No wedding bells ringing over here

A few weeks ago I received my first wedding invitation. I had become worried weeks before that I wasn’t invited because I hadn’t received an invite. For some reason I expected the invitation to come 4-6 months before the wedding. Anyway, this will be the first wedding I have attended as an adult. The first and only weding I attended was my first cousins wedding over ten years ago. Correction: I have attended another wedding. It took place in August outside in south Arkansas. The cake was sweating!

Over the past year or so I have been a little bummed about not being a wedding guest. Every time I log onto facebook someone is getting hitched, in a wedding, or traveling to one and I haven’t been a part of it. When I thought about it, my attendance would not have made sense because I was not close to any of the people tying the knot but I still felt left out. Why aren’t any of my friends getting hitched?? I know we are all pretty young (some more than others) but when I compare us to folks I graduated with from high school, we are behind. Out of 14 students who graduated summa cum laude from my high school in 2005, only four of us are not married or engage (I am making an assumption about one guy). I pointed that fact out to my pastor the other day during a discussion about marriage. It started off with him asking me out of the blue when I am getting married. (Now I have been asked this question frequently lately and it catches me off guard every time.) After I looked at him crazily, I threw back at him “don’t you need someone to marry first?” That was followed by him stating that he does not really picture me getting married and I agreed. Marriage is not something I am against. I would love to find that special someone for me but I just don’t see it happening. Having a significant other to show off to others is not a driving force in my life. Plus, I am not easily impressed. Let me rephrase, what impresses most folks does not impress me. I am real low maintenance. You know some people are always on the search for a partner and then there are those who have no problem finding someone. Well I am neither one of those people. My pastor said something to the effect that most black men are intimidated by intelligent women. I’m not sure if I agree or not. It always makes me a little uncomfortable when someone refers to me as intelligent but that’s for another post. That statement also makes me uncomfortable because it can leave someone to assume that women who are married are not as intelligent and I know that is not true. But what is it? I remember reading that young black people who are going the professional route have a mindset of getting everything together before getting married whereas their counterparts, be it white young professionals or other young black people, get married sooner and build their lives together.

Nevertheless, I am excited about attending this wedding. But after thinking about my feelings of being left out of the wedding brigade, I am not ready for my friends to tie the knot because I can’t afford it! I still owe a baby shower gift for baby JAS who is close to a month old and a house warming gift to the sweet LW. I haven’t forgot about ya’ll!