One hard thing about moving to a new city is...

One of the hardest things about moving to a new city is finding a church to attend.  I have lived in 5 different cities in since 2005 and never found a church where I truly felt comfortable.  Now granted, after a few tries I would just give up and settle for a place or choose not to attend church at all in that city.  It can be pretty frustrating.

Currently I attend a church located less than a  minute walk from my residence mostly because it is convenient. The preaching style is not my taste at all.  You are constantly told to turn to your neighbor and tell them this or that.  I don't want to turn to the person beside me and tell them something just because I was told to.  It wouldn't be coming from the heart at all.  Also, sometimes the service is a little to contemporary for me. I enjoy hymns and gospel choirs but praise dancing is still to new for me.

Back in October while visiting some friends in Atlanta I attended a  new church.  Instead of a choir there was a singing quartet or quintet. The pulpit was more of a stage and there were many people leading the service.  But the thing that stood out to me the most was the message spread throughout the service.  One of my friends and I talked about it and he mentioned that the message seemed to be for people who are going through a rough time and looking to change their life given that the name of the congregation was Life Changers. Both of  us didn't feel like the message was for us. That short conversation made me realize that there are different churches for different people.

So my challenge is to find a church that is right for me!  I would love to be involved in an active young adult group where it isn't about us verses them but about us living in the light of God. I want to be able to stand when I am moved by a song or by the word of God, not just because someone told me to stand and put my hands in the air.  I want to be involved in a ministry where witnessing about your faith is shown through the life you live and not lectured with undertones about what God doesn't like when you do this or that.

Now I know that what I am looking for is out there and that I need to let go of my preconceived notions about non "black churches". The best thing I can do right now is pray about it.

Am I a Bad Friend?

That is a question I asked myself a few weeks ago.  A friend was going through something and I was there for them but I was frustrated about the whole situation.  I planned to take care of a few things that day and felt guilty for wanting my space because they just needed someone to be there.

After talking to a couple people about the situation and how I was feeling guilty for wanting to do what I had planned I came to the realization that I’m not a bad friend.   

However, I’m not that friend.  By that friend I mean, I’m not the friend you go to for comfort.  I’m not a comforter at all.  A few years ago one of my friends lost a parent.  I didn’t know what to do so I made a joke.  The friend looked at me and said “Unkindredred Hart, you aren’t helping any.” Then we laughed and I said “You know I’m not good at the comforting stuff.”  It’s just not me.  When someone needs some comfort my first thought is to find someone else to comfort them because I’m not the one.

Even though I’m not a comforting friend, I am a good friend in other ways.

I am:

• Honest.  I give realistic advice (when asked or prompted) even if it hurts.
• Supportive.  I support my friends in endeavors ranging from looking for curtains to finding a new job. 
• Adventurous. I am almost always (except most Saturdays during the fall because college football is on) for trying something new. However, if it is something I don’t like I won’t do it.

What kind of friend are you? 

Have you ever been so frustrated that you wanted to cry?

Today I wanted to cry while working on biostatistics with a TA.  I’m pretty sure she wanted to cry too.  I just wasn’t getting it.  However, I didn’t cry and still haven’t.  My plan is to step away from it for a day.  So tomorrow I won’t waste her time at the TA session because we both will probably just end up frustrated. 

 

As I sit here I am wondering why I haven’t cried.  I think it is because I am enjoying this new experience with all its ups and downs.  Yesterday my advisor said that I need to aim for a higher level for my practicum. Meaning I should aim for internships with national organizations and not just local opportunities.  I think I am up for the challenge. : /

The dilemma is that I know I want to work with communities. I don’t want to be in an office setting 9-5. I want to be building relationships and collaborating with people to make our communities healthier. However, it would be beneficial to get other experience especially if I can get paid something while doing it. 

Taking advantage of opportunities...

Are you?

There is so much to write about but Revenge is on, the Good Wife is coming on, and I need to study for an exam.  This entry will be short and sweet but I plan to start writing at least once a week.  I just couldn’t wait to share about today’s adventure. 

 I went zip lining for the first time. 

It was a cool trip organized by the recreation center outdoor division at school.  I hope to take advantage of many more experiences like this because you may as well enjoy life.  Check out the video below.  I took it as I zip through some trees.  I had to wear a different helmet than everyone else because my hair was too big. I had to un snap the chin snap after each line because it was so tight.  I’m not sure if it was really because of my hair or big head! :) 

 

Cartoons are showing what?!?

Recently Jan Berestain, one of the the authors of the Berenstain Bears passed away. Her passing led me to reflect on the books she coauthored with her late husband. I could not part with my collection of their work this past summer as a packed up books to donate from my childhood. They were just to classic to let go.

The Berenstain Bears represented the "ideal" "traditional" family - Papa Bear, Momma Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister Bear. I think baby bear came later on. The family arrangement reminds me of one of my favorite cartoon families - Arthur! Arthur's family consist of him, D.W. (the favorite of my mom and I), Mom, Dad and later baby Kate. It is interesting how this idea of family has been portrayed. I wonder if it has been the norm for cartoons of the past.

One of my new favorite cartoons is Martha Speaks. It is about a dog who ate alphabet soup and can now speak. Viewers learn vocabulary (very popular these days on PBS cartoons) throughout the show. Martha's family is not traditional at all. It is a blended family but not like the Brady Bunch. Martha's owner, Helen is white and her father is married to a Hispanic woman and they have a son. It recently caught my attention after watching the show for a few months. However, there hasn't been an episode discussing blended families and it really isn't necessary. Who has the right to say what is normal or abnormal.

Willa's Wild Life is another show I enjoy. Willa lives with her father and their many animals (that belong in the wildlife hence the name). So in other words, Willa lives in a single parent household and with her father nonetheless. Wow, cartoons are depicting the real lives of all children.

Lastly, Hey Arnold! is another show that depicts a non-traditional family. He lives with his grandparents. Grandparents raising children is a reality for many youth. It is great that there are show out there that children can relate to on a personal level even if they aren't conscious about it. There are some children who grow up to feel bad or inadequate because their home life was different from what the media shows. Hopefully cartoons like these will curtail those feelings and inspire children to appreciate who was in their life to guide them.

What makes a city likeable?

Over the past six years I have lived in five different cities ranging from a population of approximately 10,700 to 2,099,450. Each time I have moved, someone has asked me “how do you like insert city?” Most of the time I just say it is okay. What do they want me to say?

When I think about the cities I have enjoyed the most, the city itself has little to do with it. Malls, clubs, cultural events, et cetera have very little to do with how I have felt about a city. It has always been about the relationships I was able to build that made my time in a particular place enjoyable. I look forward to visiting certain cities because that’s where my friends live and we had fun doing some of everything.

There are some places I dread going to, such as my hometown, because I don’t have close friendships with anyone there. Some people who get excited about going home but that is not me. As long as I can talk to my mom when I want to I am satisfied.

Recently I moved to the capital city of my home state and I have not been impressed to stay. Mostly because I haven’t built the type of friendships (or any at all) I had in other cities. Starting from scratch with relationships is probably the toughest part about moving around but that doesn’t deter me. I have my sights on a new city in the near future. Hopefully I will meet some Cajuns and Creoles that will welcome me and I will fall in love with a city!

Can you be single and share a home with your family?

This morning on CBS This Morning I saw a new story about extended families living under one roof. There is a builder in Florida who specializes in homes that house multi-generations. The grandparents have their own private suites.

I think it is an awesome idea. It cuts down on bills, travel, and support plus everyone still has their privacy. (The grandparents had their own entrance from outside to their suites.) I have always thought that my mother would live with me once I settle in a place, well if that ever happens. However, does the idea work for single adults? Wouldn’t they just be considered living at home with their parents?

I read a post the other day that stated that there was an issue with guys who still lived with their parents. Now I see where this could be an unattractive especially if they guy had never lived outside the home and had never supported his self. But what if the tables were turned and the parents had moved in with the son? Does that make a difference?