Wednesday, November 4, 2009

No, they aren't invited...

and it's not because I don't like them. I just want to be around people I know I enjoy.

Right now I am having a dilemma over organizing an outing. I do not believe in inviting people I'm not close with to a get to gather I am putting on. For example, last year I invited some people over to my apartment for game night. I only invited people that I have a connection with one on one. Some of my friends thought that I should have invited other people who usually hung out with us (at events I did not organize) . I disagreed because my only connection with the people were our association with the same friends. Just because we have the same friends does not mean that we are friends. That does not mean that I dislike the person, we just are not friends.

Currently the situation is more complicated. The only people I know in town are my co-workers and I would love to hang out with some of them outside of work but not all of them. Once again, this does not mean I do not like the ones who I don't want to hang out with, I just don't want to hang out with them outside of work for various reasons. I'm sure they feel the same way about me and that does not bother me.

Anyway, the problem is that some of the people I want to hang out with want to invite everyone. One of my coworkers said "I like to be inclusive". Sorry, I don't. Why would I spend my free time around people I don't want to be around if I have a choice. I don't put my self in those situations. I know what I like and what I don't like (i.e. I don't like being around smoke so I don't go to sports bars or clubs). So I have decided that I will not invite anyone. (Sorry guys bowling night is off.)

Please believe that when a major event happens in my life (get married (hopefully) , have a baby shower (hopefully) etc.) only people I want to invite will be invited. I refuse to feel obligated to invite someone because we are in the same organization, work with each other, related, etc. I want to share special events in my life with special people in my life and a night of bowling is special to me.

1 comment:

  1. I am the person that would invite everyone. But I understand your point though about special invites. That's your prerogative as the planner of the event. Just let the invitees know straight up that it's a closed event..Slash when people don't get invited, they wonder why? There's a huge blow to your ego when your friends/associates get invited somewhere and you don't, but if the relationship isn't there then the uninvited will get over it...just a temporary moment of reflection...

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