I know it isn't right...

but I'm not comfortable with some black professional women such as therapist and doctors.

Someone told me that I am a victim of white supremacist thinking that black professionals are not able to perform as well as whites. That is not the case.

It has nothing to do with my perception of the ability of black women to do their job well. I have friends who are/will be black professional women and I support them all the way. My issue stems from a fear of judgment. I would rather be judged by someone who does not look like me than someone who does.

Shoot, I feel like they (non-blacks, more specifically white people) are doing it any way and I don't care. But I do care when another black woman judges me or looks down on me. It hurts a lot more than some white man does. I know it is twisted but it is how I feel.

There are a couple things that I believe have caused me to feel this way.

1. There are no black doctors, lawyers, dentist, etc. from my neck of the woods. If there were, I was not aware of them. The majority of the black professionals I grew up knowing were involved in education. So having a doctor who is not a white male is a new phenomenon for me.
2. Another thing that I believe caused my uncomfortableness with black female doctors or therapist is rejection I have encountered from my own people in different aspects of my life. That is something that cuts deep and will be the subject of a future post.
   

Black women, are you judging me now? I have revealed my true thoughts with you and it was hard because of my fear that you are looking down on me. Now do you understand? As for the rest of you, it doesn't bother me as much.