Hello again, I am unkindred hart and I suffer from social anxiety. This is a self diagnosis and it isn’t something I particularly want to change. It is just a quirk that I am aware of about myself and wish others would respect.

Being around a group of people who are not my friends or immediate family in a social setting makes me very anxious. Large parties, church, and family reunions are a few examples of places I am not comfortable. When church is over I head for the nearest exit because the socializing after service seems awkward and forced to me.

A couple of weeks ago a fellow church member asked me if I would help gather names of college students after service. When I told him probably not he was taken aback and must have assumed I was worried about it taking up my time because he replied that it wouldn’t take that much time. However, I was not worried about how long it would take, I am uncomfortable socializing and soliciting people I am not close to. I felt bad that I did not help gather the names because I love to help out where needed but I know what my strengths and weakness. Giving off an opening and welcoming vibe to the students is not my cup of tea.

Some people say “Why not work on your weakness?” I would rather focus on my strengths and allow those who are strong in that area to shine. For example, if the college ministry at my church wanted to have an event for the students I would do great at planning the event whereas it would fit into the strengths of others to invite the students to attend.

I think I read in the book Strength Finder 2.0 that people should stop focusing so much on improving their weakness and start to build upon their strengths. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t work on things we aren’t good at (I am going to keep cooking) but it shouldn’t be our main focus. Learn yourself and build your strengths.

Sexy Back

I bet the first thought in your head was Justin Timberlake’s song “I’m bringing sexy back”. Well that’s not exactly what I have in mind. Most women want a flatter stomach (eh! Not necessary), bigger boobs (umm, if they got any bigger I may cry), or a larger butt (now I would not mind a little thickness back there) however, I, unkindred hart long for a sexy back. We all have body parts that we are insecure about and mine is my back.

A few years ago I told a friend which body part I would like to change and she said something like “I have never heard anyone say that before!” I want to be able to get dressed without turning around and wishing I did not have all this back meat. My dream wedding dress has a cutout in the back of the lace gown. Even if I never get to wear that dress I would love to wear some type of dress that highlights a toned, sleek, sexy back that has no hint of back fat.

One semester in college I took a free weights class for one of my Physical Education credits. During one of the first class meetings I asked the coach what exercises I could do to get a sexy back. I think he was taken aback for a second but then he informed me that you cannot target train to get rid of fat. Bummer! His information tripped me out because I know it takes no time for my legs to get toned. The thought of me walking around with muscles popping out of my thigh like a professional body builder on stage was one thing that kept me from doing squats in that class. Been there, done that. When your ballet teacher stops you in the middle of class and asks you in a startled voice “what is wrong with your leg?” (I thought I had gotten a cut from the bar and was bleeding on my white tights.) And you look down to see your huge muscle bulging from your thigh; umm you are kind of scarred for life!

Anyway, why do I bring this up? I have been complaining about feeling like crap for the past few months due to inactivity. About three weeks ago I went to put on some jeans and I could not breathe. It was HORRIBLE! None of my pants were fitting comfortably so I decided to walk. I have been walking on and off for about three weeks now completing 2 miles each session. My pants are not cutting off my breath anymore and I have stopped grunting when I bend down or get up from sitting. Yea, it had gotten that bad! There have been a couple of times that I have actually jogged a little. In the past week I have moved away from my hometown and out on my own again. I have developed a route that is approximately 2 miles. Hopefully I will keep this up and get that sexy back I lone for along with a better bill of health.