Relationships of Convenience

Are they wrong?

The other person in this relationship is usually called an acquaintance. They are in your life only because it is convenient. You don't really trust them but that does not limit how they can benefit you. You can have this type of relationship in your personal and professional life. I think it is a must in your professional life but it can be shady in your personal life.

When is it considered using the person? Is it only considered using a person if they are helping you with a service you could pay for? (That logic doesn't really work because now a days you can pay for anything.)

I have had some relationships of convenience. Some of them I felt guilty about others I did not. Everyone you deal with is not your friend or enemy. A lot of people fit into that area between. They are neither friend or foe, just there for the moment.

Don't be a hater all your life!

Definitions of the word "hater" that I like:

A hater is a person who, wheather they can help it or not, hates on everything and everyone for no reason. By hates on, I mean, ridicules, puts down, or rejects. - Tricksta Vic on Yahoo Anwers

someone who is hurt and angry and doesnt know how to deal with it - arilynn on Yahoo Answers

Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock somelse down a notch. - Urban Dictionary



A short time ago I would get really annoyed when people talked about people "hating" on them. Heck, I'm still annoyed at them but I no longer believe that it is something that are imagining. Originally, I believed that people who constantly spoke about "haters" were feeling themselves a little to much and I still believe that (I see this on Facebook way to often). Then I would get a little envious and wonder why I wasn't cool enough to have any haters. (crazy but true)

Finally I realized that I have had "haters" but you know what I DON'T CARE. They don't have anything to do with me. If they want to hate let them do their job. I'm not going to let them bring me down. If I did, I would have been broken a long time ago.

It is important to me to be around people who are not like that. If you like to "hate" on people then we don't need to be together because I will call you out on it if we are close. It brings me down. I'm not going to act like I don't gossip and talk about people but "hating" is not in my blood. If you ever hear me "hating" on someone please call me out. (Asking me if I like something and my response is no does not mean I'm hating on you. You ASKED me a question and I answered honestly.)

"Hating" on someone stems from jealously and esteem issues. When your jealous of someone or not fully comfortable with yourself you "hate" on someone to make your self feel better but it doesn't work. We have to work on ourselves to feel better. I know I need to work on me to overcome some other issues but "hating" is not one of them.

One minute without thumbs

I wrote in the beginning that this blog will focus on the random thoughts I have so do not act surprised about this post.

Has anyone seen one of those commercials for Beggin brand dog treats? The dog says "I would get them myself but I don't have thumbs."


Well a few nights ago I was laying in bed when this commercial came on. Suddenly the thought of not having thumbs popped in my mind and I folded my thumbs in towards the palm of my hand. I then proceeded to do the simple task of adjusting my bed sheets. It was HARD!!! You don't realize the difference things such as your thumbs or big toes make until they are gone. After struggling for less than a minute I reverted back to the use of my thumbs and praised the man above for allowing me to have the use of them.

Pet Peeves

This will be a growing list. These first few pet peeves came to mind the other day while walking downtown.

1. People dressing wrong for the weather.

How hard is it to check the weather the night before?

2. People walking around with out an umbrella when it was raining before they left the house.

I saw this all the time on campus. It would have raining steadily since the night before and people would come to class soak and wet like they didn't see it raining when they left out of the house!

3. People smoking in front of building entrances.



If your standing in front of the door the smoke is going in the building and it is irritating! I HATE walking out the door into a cloud of smoke. Just because you don't mind killing your lungs and smelling like smoke I do care about my lungs and smelling like a chimney.

4. People walking while smoking.

You are blowing smoke right in the face of the people behind you. It is RUDE!

KINKY

... my hair that is



I get tired of people judging me because of my hair. It doesn't matter if it is permed or natural people automatically think I'm a certain way because of it. I remember feeling ostracized at chapel because my hair was relaxed and all of the people around me were natural. They did not even talk to me. Now people assume that I am Afrocentric or growing locs because of my natural texture. I have to remind myself to keep my cool but sometimes I become short with people. Just because I am not wearing my hair picked out in a fro doesn't mean I am trying to loc my hair. Come on people pay attention!!!

Breaking one "negative" cycle may lead to the start of another one

Ever since I was 15 I have celebrated internally reaching another birthday without becoming a mother. Various family members had children when they were in their teens including my mother. After high school I celebrated internally being one of the few black cheerleaders who didn't have a child soon after graduating.


Now I am wondering if I am starting a new cycle - single, educated, black woman with no kids. Each birthday I reach now I will sulk at the thought of having no kids or family. Hopefully I can break that cycle to and start a socially positive one.

I don't want to be no educated fool

"Look at them, they have all that education but are some of the biggest fools I know."

"She has all that book smarts but no common sense at all."


Growing up I have heard a number of people described this way. I can't say I didn't agree at times. Some of the smartest (book smart) people I have run across have very little knowledge of what others find to be common sense. I don't think that they are always clueless to the issues. They become so focused on having knowledge from a book they they miss the opportunities to learn from the streets and life. Life experiences are more interesting and a useful teaching tool than any book can provide.

Sometimes the comments above are said out of jealously but most of the time they are true. People get a little bit of education, money, or both and think of themselves better than others. Now I know some people may say I act that way but it has nothing to do with education. I just don't like fooling with folks, especially trifling folks be it if they are white, black, young, old, rich, poor, etc. I judge you on your personality not what you have (LOL).

Anyway, I hope to never become some educated fool. I want to stay connected to people on a human, personal level and not feel the need to elevate my self above others. However, sometimes that is hard. (I know this may seem a little condescending). There have been times when people have treated me a certain way because of what they assume about me. When that happens I want to shout to them what I have achieved compared to what they have. Then I calm down and think about how shallow that is and move on.

So, how do you view your self and how do you want to be viewed by others? Sorry for the rambling!