Birthday Hesitations to a Birthday Celebration

I have never been one for birthday celebrations as an adult for a few reasons.

•         My birthday falls around and sometimes on Mother’s Day.
•         It is during the peak of graduation season.
•         It was right after school ended for the year.
•         I don’t fool with a lot of people.
•         People will disappoint you by not showing up.
•         It is just another day.

However, this year I decided to put all of that aside, make adjustments, and throw myself a birthday party to celebrate turning 30! I started planning my party over a year before it happened. I know people around me were ready for it to happen because I talked about it A LOT! I’m a planner and made use of all that time to plan the perfect party for me.



My inspiration for the party was Beyoncé’s

2016 half time performance. It made me feel
a sense of pride to be a young black woman and I wanted to celebrate that feeling. I thought I was going to dress up like one of the dancers but my 30 year old body isn’t where I want it to be for all of that ….yet! 


It took me at least six months to pull my inspiration together, decide on a theme (I'm 30 & proud), find someone to design the invitation and work with another woman to decide the decorations. It was an enjoyable experience. I ended up working with other young black women to make it all become a reality and that is exciting. I wanted to showcase the talents of my fellow black women to pull off this event and they did not disappoint.

My 30^th Birthday was the best birthday in recent memory even though my hesitations for celebrating did impact the day. I ended up delaying the party a week because of Mother’s day. The party was the same day as high school graduation in my hometown. I don’t have many friends that live locally and some of the few I do fool with didn’t show up.


You know who did show up? Some of my friends who live out of state! 
Five folks spent 
hundreds of dollars to celebrate my birthday with me! Travel to Arkansas is not cheap and I don’t encourage my friends to visit because of the cost even though I love hosting people, well people I like. I had so much fun showing them Little Rock and experiencing local attractions with them. Spending time with them may have been more enjoyable than the actual party. 

Now don’t be mistaken I had a GRAND time at my party. The venue was great, the décor was on point, the food was tasty, and the DJ had me dancing all night. Granted I did send him a list of songs that I enjoy. People that know me know I like to dance and dancing the night away with friends and family was a great way to bring in my thirties. 

RSVP Here!

My Birthday Wish

One day out of the year people receive Happy Birthday messages on their Facebook page from friends, family, and acquaintances. Well today is my turn and before you post that nice note I would like to share something with you…

"Everybody can be great because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. ... You need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love" - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The quote above is one of my favorites! Being a servant is one thing that brings me great joy.

In 2006 less than a year after Hurricane Katrina I had my first experience with alternative breaks in New Orleans, Louisiana. You may be wondering “What exactly are alternative breaks?”  An alternative break is a trip (usually during spring, fall, or summer break) where a group of college students engage in direct service and reflection. That experience had an impact on my life and was one of the main reasons I looked at New Orleans as a place to further my education years later.

Currently I am back in New Orleans attending a conference that is focused on the journey towards justice by creating change through partnerships. And just a couple of weeks ago I was attending a Break Away board meeting in Atlanta.  Break Away is a national non-profit organization that promotes the development of quality alternative break programs. It’s interesting how things connect in life.

So if you feel inclined to help me celebrate this day near or far I ask that you to join me in supporting Break Away by sending a donation along with your birthday greeting. J

Lastly, the countdown starts today for something special. Only 365~ days left! 

My somber return

It has been a while...


Over a year ago, a good friend told me that she missed reading my blog and suggested that I started writing again. I told her that it was a great idea but when I was writing in the past I was in a dark place. Writing served as an outlet for me as I dealt with different things. She took back her request once I shared that information....

Well, I am in a dark place again and it is time to write.

One hard thing about moving to a new city is...

One of the hardest things about moving to a new city is finding a church to attend.  I have lived in 5 different cities in since 2005 and never found a church where I truly felt comfortable.  Now granted, after a few tries I would just give up and settle for a place or choose not to attend church at all in that city.  It can be pretty frustrating.

Currently I attend a church located less than a  minute walk from my residence mostly because it is convenient. The preaching style is not my taste at all.  You are constantly told to turn to your neighbor and tell them this or that.  I don't want to turn to the person beside me and tell them something just because I was told to.  It wouldn't be coming from the heart at all.  Also, sometimes the service is a little to contemporary for me. I enjoy hymns and gospel choirs but praise dancing is still to new for me.

Back in October while visiting some friends in Atlanta I attended a  new church.  Instead of a choir there was a singing quartet or quintet. The pulpit was more of a stage and there were many people leading the service.  But the thing that stood out to me the most was the message spread throughout the service.  One of my friends and I talked about it and he mentioned that the message seemed to be for people who are going through a rough time and looking to change their life given that the name of the congregation was Life Changers. Both of  us didn't feel like the message was for us. That short conversation made me realize that there are different churches for different people.

So my challenge is to find a church that is right for me!  I would love to be involved in an active young adult group where it isn't about us verses them but about us living in the light of God. I want to be able to stand when I am moved by a song or by the word of God, not just because someone told me to stand and put my hands in the air.  I want to be involved in a ministry where witnessing about your faith is shown through the life you live and not lectured with undertones about what God doesn't like when you do this or that.

Now I know that what I am looking for is out there and that I need to let go of my preconceived notions about non "black churches". The best thing I can do right now is pray about it.

Am I a Bad Friend?

That is a question I asked myself a few weeks ago.  A friend was going through something and I was there for them but I was frustrated about the whole situation.  I planned to take care of a few things that day and felt guilty for wanting my space because they just needed someone to be there.

After talking to a couple people about the situation and how I was feeling guilty for wanting to do what I had planned I came to the realization that I’m not a bad friend.   

However, I’m not that friend.  By that friend I mean, I’m not the friend you go to for comfort.  I’m not a comforter at all.  A few years ago one of my friends lost a parent.  I didn’t know what to do so I made a joke.  The friend looked at me and said “Unkindredred Hart, you aren’t helping any.” Then we laughed and I said “You know I’m not good at the comforting stuff.”  It’s just not me.  When someone needs some comfort my first thought is to find someone else to comfort them because I’m not the one.

Even though I’m not a comforting friend, I am a good friend in other ways.

I am:

• Honest.  I give realistic advice (when asked or prompted) even if it hurts.
• Supportive.  I support my friends in endeavors ranging from looking for curtains to finding a new job. 
• Adventurous. I am almost always (except most Saturdays during the fall because college football is on) for trying something new. However, if it is something I don’t like I won’t do it.

What kind of friend are you? 

Have you ever been so frustrated that you wanted to cry?

Today I wanted to cry while working on biostatistics with a TA.  I’m pretty sure she wanted to cry too.  I just wasn’t getting it.  However, I didn’t cry and still haven’t.  My plan is to step away from it for a day.  So tomorrow I won’t waste her time at the TA session because we both will probably just end up frustrated. 

 

As I sit here I am wondering why I haven’t cried.  I think it is because I am enjoying this new experience with all its ups and downs.  Yesterday my advisor said that I need to aim for a higher level for my practicum. Meaning I should aim for internships with national organizations and not just local opportunities.  I think I am up for the challenge. : /

The dilemma is that I know I want to work with communities. I don’t want to be in an office setting 9-5. I want to be building relationships and collaborating with people to make our communities healthier. However, it would be beneficial to get other experience especially if I can get paid something while doing it.